Children's Minister Blog

A Sunday School teacher spent fifteen minutes telling her class about the kings and queens of the Old Testament. “But there is a higher power. Does any one know what it is?” she asked. “Sure,” said one little boy “Aces”.

A child sat in his grandfather’s arms as both of them looked in a mirror. “Did God make us both?’ he asked. “Yes, of course.” “Well, He does a much better job now days. He’s had lot’s of practice! Now He doesn’t put wrinkles on faces.” God- improving? The fact is, that God has given [...]

Here are some comments from some little children aged seven or eight I have taught in Religious Education classes. “Why do all ventriloquists use the same voice for their dolls?” Q.What’s the last book in the Bible? A. “Revolution”. When teaching the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth I was asked… “Why don’t angels still appear [...]

A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear, “Don’t pay for me Daddy, I’m under five.”

“The babe, with a cry brief and dismal, Fell into the water baptismal; Ere they’d gathered its plight, It had sunk out of sight, For the depth of the font was abysmal.” Edward Gorey, The Listing Attic,1954 “The baby wakes up in the wee wee hours of the morning.” Robert Robbins, Reader’s Digest, 1949

Why We Love Children An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him: “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said: “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out slamming the door until St Peter says: “For Heavens sake Dylan, come in [...]

Tags: Humour, Jokes

Tony loved children. Tony was known around the neighbourhood for his tennis coaching and his help with the local scout group. One day Tony was working on his driveway laying some cement when the two young boys from down the street came by with their small bikes. Just as Tony yelled out at the small [...]

Little girl and her neighbour One Sunday afternoon a little girl was happily walking home from Kids Church reading her bible. When she arrived at her driveway, her grumpy neighbour noticed what the little girl was doing and asked roughly, “What are you reading, girl?” The little girl replied gently, “My bible. The part where [...]

Helen Aberg used to give generous Christmas gifts to her several grandchildren, but the children never sent thank you letters, despite the urgings of their parents. But then, one year, things changed. Grandma sent a hundred dollar Christmas cheque to each grandchild. The very next day, each child came over in person to thank her. [...]

I have just posted my new short Christmas puppet ( or vent) script. It’s called “Carolling Christmas”. Ricky can’t get to sleep because he has Christmas carols going around in his head. He comes to hear about the Nativity and gets excited that God’s son has come to earth. Carolling Christmas script.

After hearing the Christmas story, and singing “Silent Night” a Sunday School Class in Sao Paulo was asked to draw what they thought th Nativity Scene might have looked like. One boy did a good likeness of Joseph, Mary and the infant, but off  to the side was a plump roly-poly figure. The teacher, afraid [...]

Tags: Children, Christmas, Humour, Jokes

Christmas-1st Corinthians 13 Style If I decorate my house perfectly with bows,strands of twinkling lights and shiny baubles, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator. If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas biscuits, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtimes, but do [...]

Family Grace (sung to the Doxology tune) Thank you for this food so “yum”. Soon be eaten in my ‘tum,tum,tum.’ (with appropriate taps to tummy) My giving God, you’re good to me, Please bless our meal and family. (c) Don Stott, 2009

Tags: Prayer

Good Samaritan A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, [...]

Tags: Humour

Our pastor told the story of “The Prodigal Son” to a first grade class. To check on understanding, he asked; “Who was the most unhappy when the prodigal son returned?” An eager boy raised his hand and stated the simple truth”The Fatted Calf”.

Why God made Mums — BRILLIANT Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!! Why did God make mothers? 1. She’s the only one who knows where the sticky tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God [...]

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. – Ogden Nash

Tags: Humour, Quotes

JAILHOUSE ROCKS! ( Acts 16:22-34) Drip, drip, drip. The weary jailer watched the water slowly run into the green slimy puddle at his feet. He slumped on a stone seat, deep in the basement of the Philippian jail. It had been a hectic day. At least now the troublemakers were under lock and key in [...]

The max7.org website has continually been adding new free resources for children’s ministry. This site is one you must bookmark if you are involved in children’s ministry. One of the latest additions are a series of five short videos about some wacky flies which are used to talk about key Bible stories. R U Smarter [...]

Tags: Resources, Websites

Six-year old Lindy and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See [...]

Tags: Humour, Jokes

“Two heads are better than one: but this only refers to asparagus.” W.Pitt Ridge “The old man asked the little boy how he liked school. ‘Closed” was the reply.” Lutheran Education “Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.” Norman Ford ” I dunno” Arthur said, “I forgot what [...]

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, [...]

At a nativity play, all was going well until the angel appeared and told the little girl playing Mary that she was going to have a baby. “But how can this be,” said Mary, “since I am a Viking?”

Two Little Boys ~ After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his [...]

Bart was sad because his dog had died. To help soothe some of his emotions, dad helpfully added,”While I know your sad about losing Benji, I think that God wanted to enjoy having Benji in heaven with him”. “What’s God want with a dead dog?” asked Bart.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

A simple puppet script I wrote a couple of years ago for an all-age Pentecost service might be of interest to someone who is planning to use puppets. What a gift ! at Eliab.com

Check out this very humorous look at family life by Ian Frazier.  Household Principles, Lamentations of  the Father 

Someone asked Joseph of  Arimathaea , “That was a great tomb. Why did you give it to someone else to be buried in?” “Oh,” said Joseph, “he only needed it for the weekend.”

A grandfather was out walking with his grandson one day. “How far do you think we are from home?” he asked the grandson. The boy said, “Grandpa, I don’t know.” The grandfather asked, “Well, where are you?” Again the boy said, “I don’t know.” Then the grandfather chuckled and said, “Sounds to me as if [...]